Two Good Reasons

Well it has been awhile since my last post but I have two good reasons:
1. It's summer
2. I'm expecting!

Yes I am 18 weeks and feeling good, well still a little nauseous at times, but oh so grateful.

As long as Ryan and I have been married, when it came to the topic of children and how many - "four just seemed right" - but after another miscarriage (our sixth) in November my thoughts and feelings started to change...

"We are happy with three- we are so blessed to have three beautiful children.  We are out of the diaper and baby gear stage, yippee!  Our kids are getting older and more self sufficient- we can do more things we couldn't before. Maybe we were just meant to have three... we all know some days that's all i can handle anyway!  Maybe I'm supposed to do something else"

These thoughts weighed heavy on my mind.

... And after some time I felt that- "Yes, I think, maybe three is right."

Then.... well.  Gagging while brushing my teeth? That's strange. Passing out on the couch at 7pm completely exhausted.  Hmmm.  Heartburn. Wait a sec. Having to run to the bathroom from a smell no one else could smell coming from our sink. Ok, could it be????

Positive!

What? Really?

Emotions that followed: Tears. So Happy! Confused. Ecstatic!!! Stressed. Tears again....

Filled with joy and gratitude.

We are so excited to welcome Baby #4 in December.  I think a little part of me still can't believe it, or is maybe just a little bit nervous because of past experiences in this area of my life.  It feels like a miracle... and actually each child we are all blessed with are just that. Miracles.

And Heavenly Father does know best and His timing is not our timing.  There have been so many experiences in my life where i have wanted something to happen... and happen right then!  But it didn't... rather it came later when the time was right and looking back through the years- His time was always right.

Yep! Bring on the diaper bag!




p.s. next week we find out... boy or girl!  i bet you can guess what Sophie's hoping for ;)